RIP BLACKBERRY

It was as on everyone’s lips, as if it was the return of Jesus. Those that can afford it and those that can’t talked about it as if it was the arrival of a new born baby. In those days, if you had a blackberry you will be treated like a god; at the sound of its ‘Pinging’ tone every other phone bowed, the rooms stood still and everyone jealously stirs at you as you smile and laugh at your phone.  We were so intimated by an ordinary mobile device. (*smh*).

Blackberry! Blackberry!! we all chanted as if was here to stay forever, we would borrow a device just to update our Facebook status which simply says: via Blackberry; some even got to the extent of sharing testimonies in churches over a newly bought Curve 2; “What’s your pin?” Do you have a blackberry?  I have heard those questions countless number of times; brothers and sisters fought over who gets to ping; divorce cases piled up in court over a worth less device that is now worthless.  Folks have gone in and out of prison just because they want to ping. If you didn’t own a Blackberry then you have not arrived; folks bought this device just to fill among; it was like a national ID.

I was shocked when I even saw a blackberry device with double sim. (People have gotten to this extent?). Our ladies ripped themselves off their clothes fighting over who gets to use a device. Chasing and sleeping with men at ungodly hours of the day just to acquire a blackberry device. Different stories and news on the internet of how some peeps were caught stealing a BB. The guys nko? They can do anything to get a BB (just to impress the ladies noni)… and the ladies too will be like: Mummy see, he proposed with a blackberry. Haaaa, O ma se ooO. They could do anything to acquire a blackberry then.

Naija peeps will work so hard to save money just to subscribe for one month BIS with 3000 Naira. There was hardly any broadcast message that got to my phone then that will not be re-broadcasted almost immediately. The ‘Red’ notification light nko? It was the highest form of distraction I have ever experienced. Unfortunately, I was also caught up in the mess; I was given money to buy a Nokia E63 instead, I returned home with a new blackberry curve 2. So many times my parents threatened to seize my phone because the battery was either dead when I am needed or I was caught pinging/browsing while on errands. If we were being awarded for broadcasting messages then, I will probably be one of the best in Africa. .

Not that the phone that usually keeps me awake all night was sensible like that o, it was always “hanging;” it was as if the “hanging” part of the phone was an application on its own, it just comes up when you happen to be doing something important. If your blackberry device did not hang it simply means you bought a fake one. (Seriously). As if that was not enough, to send files from BB to other phones through Bluetooth you’ll have to pair and pair… Jeez, that stuff was frustrating. Unlike our good old Nokia phones, once this BB enters water, just like Jesus’ last word on the cross: it is finished! The worst of it all was the battery, oh boy, those batteries were so weak that if possible, you can replace them with Tiger batteries.

Before, he loves you if he buys you a blackberry, now if he buys you a blackberry, you know he doesn’t care. The highly exalted BBM that we wanted to beat ourselves over has been made available on better platforms; yet some blackberry users are staging an online protest as if they contributed to its invention. I don’t blame them for this, after all we know what most of them did to get a blackberry; plus it is the only thing keeping some relevant; as far as I am concerned it has sha come and gone.

 Z10 or whatever they call it, the phones have found their way to the museum; if you are using a blackberry now it’s either because of the Nigerian internet plan which is very much affordable or because you don’t have money to buy Android/Apple device #Gbam … or let’s just say you are still enjoying the device sha. For those of you who have not learnt anything from this (almost) five years of BB revolution in Nigeria, don’t worry I’m sure another “BB” is on its way; you will surely learn from that.

@yemiolutoye